page4—TheGrinnellScarletan- i so .

Viewpoint

Crossing the bar sinister

by J. C, Womb

In recent years the American
Bar has faced a serious problem,
that is havmg to disbar some of itS
most prominent members. In an
organization such as the Bar
Association where dlsbarment is
equal to dismembcrmcnt it is a
serious problem indeed AS I
watched the undammed 99 (but
damnable 0) stream of legal
parakeets (not eagles) shuttle
irom Congressionsl hearing room
to Hall of Justice to our history
books I shuddered with the very
same apprehension that must
mark a healthy man entering a
leper colony. I am a Senior pre-law
student.

nccpcr disease

What bothers me most IS that
there has been no attempt by the
Bar to remedy the situation, that
the bar fails to realize that
unethical lawyers are merely
symptomatic of a deeper disease
that plagues our legal educational
system, that no attempt has been
made nor program introduced to
stem this tide Therefore knowing
iull well that I am casting pearls
beioro swine and beginning a
Quixotic Naderesque (some
lawyers are unsaie at any speed)
war I present a program ot my
own,

Firstly, the first thing that
strikes me wrongly about our
system is that is IS too selectively
democratic. In order to get into
Law school one is only judged on
the basis oi academic per»
formance and the results oi ob-
jective testing. These criteria may
work wonders towards getting one
Ihru law school, but are they truly
the most important attributes of a
lawyer? I submit Iiot. Further, this
system oi selection sets a
paradigm, a precedent it you will,
as the students were chosen for
their academic pertormance and
results on objective tests it would
be hardly fair that they should be
graded on any other criterion,
therefore the only talk about
morality is done in the obligatory
ethics class at the end oI wllich
students are judged on academic
periormance and results oi ob-
jective testing!

Lithograph added

to permanent art

“Self Portrait, 1974,” Li color
lithograph by Fritz Scholdcr, has
been added to Grinnell College’s
permanent art collection,

The original print was given to
the college by Walter w. Straley oi
Moline, Ill. He serves on the
college‘s Board of Trustees and is a
member of the Grinnell class of
1933.

I think this could be solved by a
whole new program. All applicants
would go through a period basic
training, road work every morning
beiore breakfast, weekly general
[lugging (monthly alter the first
eight weeks), good hard labor in
|he fresh air and sunshine and
most importantly total separation
from the outside World (it amazes
me how some lawyers can dctend
men irom jail sentences when they
have no idea what the word “jail”
means; also, future District At»
torneys with political ambitions
should be made to think twice.)
After this period of not more than
one year in duration, all candidates
will be allowed to apply to the law
school of their choice, Of course,
law hoard scores will probably be
substantially lowered by this
program but they will will be
working with a better grade or
people.

Secondly, I think that lawyers
need an image The one thing that
impressed me most about our most
recent batch of war criminals
iI-Ialdemann, Ehrlichmann ct. al.)
\vas their absolute invisibility. You
will note that as a child none of
your iriends wished to be lawyers
and, to tell the truth. children do
not even play lawyer. They play
doctor constantly, but lawyer
never. Doctors have an identity;
lawyers do not. To give a lawyer
identity I would lurn to the Church,
reinstate legal vestments, expand
legal Latin and have an oath
written, a take off, in a sense. on
the Hippocratic, in which all or
lenses which demand disbarmcnt
are spelled out clearly, in which a
lawyer‘s responsibility as priest oi
Goddess Justice are set Clearly
before him, Finally I would in
stitutc ceremonies oi a high
Episcopalian nature in which
lawyers would inceteach other and
reaffirm their vows.

him the gauntlet

An example ot the latter would
he the ceremony oi disbarment.
The guilty person is lead into a
huge hall where his punishment is
to be meted, but in order to enter
h must run a guantlet consisting
of he entire State Bar Association.
Once inside, the show begins in
earnest. There is an overture, a
choir singing Tua Culpa, Tua
maxima ciilpa and then the cur-
tain comes up on a slapschtik
reenactment of the defendent’s
otiense, complete with
baggypantscd comedians and
custard-cream pies. Then a line oi
those whom his olfense hurt will on
stage over his prostrate body, At
this point, according to need, the
lawyer’s worldly goods will be
distributed among these people
and the lawyer will be allowed the
mercy of suicide. The only kind oi
disbarment that should be allowed
is death.

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,/
Illillli

Rubin’s
serv1ce
apprec1ated

To the Editor:

I wish to convey my thanks to
Betsy Rubin, ior tlie inagniiicent
Job she did on behalf oi the Jewish
students, arranging ior their stay
in Des Moines during the High
Holidays. I just nanted to make
sure all that time and eiiort did not
go unoticed and unthanked.

Name withheld npoii remit-st

Peters: Open

hair dryers

To the Editor:
For several years I have actively
promoted liiting weights in order

to improve and maintain the
physique, This principle is equally
applicable to both sexes, So when
women enter the men’s locker
room in the PE, Complex to use
the Universal weight machine, I
can even advocate that. Recently
women have been making use oi
the men’s suana because theirs is
inopcrative. In doing so they
transit the men‘s showers and
dressing facilities, straining their
necks in the process.

Earlier this week I was accosted
by a woman in a swimsuit in the
men's iacility where I was
showerng in the nude. She wanted
to know where the whirlpool bath
was. Being neither a modest
person nor an exhibitionist, I found
myseli somewhat agitated, ex»
pecially after I investigated the
next day, iinding out that this
trespass has the tacit approval of
the administration.

Ibelieve the situation has gotten
out of hand. Unless it is rectified by
those responsible ior the intrusion.
I will take this principle of
”equality” and apply it ior my own
benefit, Now that themen’s hair
dryer is out of order. I would like to
announce my intention of entering
thewomen's locker room to use
their hair dryer. I don't want to
hear any prudes screaming when I
do.

Sincerely. Arnie Peters

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A reply. . .

 

cartoon by Greg Tobin

from under the dunce cap

. . . sorta sticky you know, where to
begin and such, and such, Strange
perceptions-perspectives like
lipstick being sewn onto lipsiand
it happened a long time ago now it
seems, recollections~one hits you
in the stomach, then the other
offers you an Old Gold. And it must
be obvious brothers and sisters:
the iaiigs were sharp and our well-
fed asses were soIt.

Anyway dear Editor,

First of all. I would like to agree
with your statement that our briei
residence at Nollen House, in an
attempt to bring about a sets
tlement of the BELG strike, was a
iailure. And you're probably also
right “that the Sitsin did not
achieve anything ” But after
reading your editorial and the cute
piece called “The good old days,” 1
am lett only with uneasiness,
Perhaps it is just my innate
stupidity as to the nature oi funcr
tion of journalism, but what have
you really Said? Are your come
merits looking [or applause
because they are so astutei II so, I
applaud them. Are they looking Ior
affirmation or a consensus” If so,
that too shouldn’t be Very hard to
find here at Grinnell College But
what is most distressingiwith
apologies in advance for ripping oil
Gunter Eichils that you have
given us answers without ever

asking the questions. And it there
was any reason at all to be in
Nollen Ilouse, it was that we felt
there were QUESTIONS which
needed to be asked. Not solely
about the BBzG strike, and not
solely to the administration; but
questions that we as people4
interesting word there—need to
ask each other, and ask ourselves.
By the mere fact that we are
incscapably participants in our
own existence, can we really altord
to turn on the fog machines and
cruise by ourselves in a narcotic
mist”

I'm sorry, When I first read the
5&5 last week, I wanted to get
cranked up on hate and anger, and
then make widesweeping
declarations about fuckheads who
didn’t understand. Maybe that
would have made a good “letter to
the editor,” but what would I have
been left With? When we came out
of Nollen Houseiwith an uns
speakable taste in our mouths,
because it wasnt just our pride we
had to eatiwe were looking for
questions and criticism, not
judgements or answers. Perhaps
that is just too much to ask at
Grinnell College . . . I would hope
not. But it so, well . . .rm sorta
getting used to this old dunce cap
anyway,

Rciijainin Kntz

Request rebate if strike continues

To the Editors:

The B and G strike has gone on
ior too long and it appears that no
end is in sight. The only sensible
and fair solution is arbitration by
an impartial third party. The B and
G workers’ union has offered to
submit the problem to an ar—
bitra orithe Grinnell College
admi stration has not.

In the meantime important jobs
around campus remain unacr
complished: telephones are out at
order, ovens remain unfixed,
plastering and painting have gone
undone, the chemistry lab is
without distilled water, buildings
are not open at the prescribed
times, the women’s sauna is
inoperable, improvement projects
such as the installation of the light

' board in Robert's Theatre and the

construction of the new computer
center have yet to be completed,
and the RA'S have spent more time
with the garbage than they have
with us.

We have all paid to attend this
’ institution and expect the essential

SeerCeS to tie periormed, ii the
administration does not show a
stronger desire to settle this Strike
now through arbitration, we will
demand a rebate on the costs we
have paid,

Kathy Heiiidon

David Arnold

Amy Benecki

Patrick Flanagan

Bruce Tucker

Jim Dlers

Peter Guthrie

Sarah DriggS

Nick Burbules

Jenifer Block

Joanna Axtmann

David TenEyck

Peter Petrossmn

Harlan Matthieu

Lewin Weyl

Janey Brunton

Laura Nance

Maxine Lowy

Linda Rubin

David Lewis

Jill Rendleman

Adam Levine

Cathy Lee

 

