Page Two

SCARLET AND BLACK

Crinnell Noel

Before you board your bus or plane,
illegal car or special train

Be good and go to all your meetings
Then we'll send you season's greetings.

Here’s hoping your Christmas is really a corker
Now come the greetings, a la New Yorker.

Hark the herald angels sing
For Joseph Dunner and Winston King

For Frederick Bauinann and Joseph Wall
Greetings to you, one and all

To Gracie Hunter and Evy Eoyd ,
To Thornton. Haner, Van Krevelen, and Ereud
To Friend Sam Wassom and his high cost
To Charley Foster and Robert Frost

To Irv Simone and Robert P.

To E. G. Booth and his PhD. _

May Santa bring a conference wm _
To the boys what groan and the boys what swim.
To both the Curtises: Harnack and Bradford
To both the nurses: Maccann and Radford.
To Rupert Hawk and Mariorie Michaels

To Charlton and his business cycles

To Dr. Bowen and his lovely spouse

Merry first Christmas in the President's house.
To Homer Norton, Acting Dean

May Santa leave him something green.

At dinner we'll say a Christmas Grace

For Harry and his smiling face

For Hauptmann who‘s on leave next sem
tFDr Evelyn Gardner and Bethana M.

When Santa comes to Each_Well-lmuse

Maybe he’ll look like big Jim Stauss

For Mr. Clapp and Miss de Lecluse

Nellie Gleason and Preshing Goose

For JRK we'll trim the tree

Don‘t let Sam’s ghost bother thee.

Greetings Russell and Mendoza

Misses Phillips, Wack, and Hoza.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

For the Walshes, Jane and Molly

For Loie Woerthwein and these three:

Marty, Eva, and Lennie B.

For Carolyn Tilly and Katie A.

For Mrs. Stephens, Ella, and Fay

For Banister and Joel Stubhs

For the Young Dems and Young Repubs.

With holiday cheer we’re just bustin’

For Jersey Williams and Richard Dustin.

We'd like Diane Stevenson in our stocking

And_ Janie l-larnaek, too, if that’s not too shock-
ing.

A Christmas carol we’ll sing for Sang

For John Orsborn and alum Ed Laing

And when the time comes we’ll start knittin'

For old John Cotton and his purrin’ Kitten.

Now we’ll send a salutation

To Joe Buffoon and the Rock island Station.

We’ll wrap up a virile stud

For Jay and Jerry and the Canter Club.

To Richard Lehrer we’ll send our thanks

And‘ to the Grinnell and the Poweshiek Banks.

String up the holly and the bays

Tor Robert Crumpton and Gary Hayes.

Hang a wreath and light the fire

For Judie Reget and Pinky Meyer

For Carol Wolff and Ellie Gus

For Margie Mills and Carol Kluss.

Lots of packages under the tree

For hammer-lock Don and the Honor G

Hosannas from the angel choirs

For the taff at the Rex and all the Blackfriars.

Listen, zzie, and listen, Schwy

You better watch out, we're telling you why

The man that's coming is Santa Claus

Don't confuse him with old Jim Pioss,

May Christmas be a time of bliss

For the White Caps and the Orchesis

For Betty B. and Stephen Mac

John DeCou and Robert Aek

And to the choir and both Clubs Glee

And to the League Board and the C of HP

'To Ginny R. and Nancy N.

To Jack Mieheletto and Stanley Stenn

To Violinist Betty and Duane Crossley

To Norman Goodbrod and Mr. c.

To Dean Canakes and Abraham Mackler

To each quarterback, guard, end, and tackler.

Hangea your stocking and ring-a your bell-a

For every James girl and for Della

Then put up the mistletoe

For Sheldon and her friend, Tom Boe.

And may the New Year's Eve be sane
For Daniel Toft and Stephen Payne
And for the Stewarts: Julie and Jim
The Meyers, too: Fred, Bob, and Kim.
We hope vacation won’t be dull

For Barbara Pepe and Jack Muhl

Or for the Joneses: Paul and Steve

Or for Paula, Annie, or Cleve.

May God have mercy on your souls
You men of Dibble and of Cowles

And may you not the spirit lose
Marge Voytilla and Carolyn Hewes.
To Doubenmier and her Bill

To Jo Woerthwein and Warren Hill

To Mr. and Mrs. John Dunlop

To Eddie Gilmour and Kenyon Knopf.
Greetings, Jo Bunge and Annie Beuck
And Goreham. Eritz, and Goodrich, Mike
And Hewitt, Pete, and Cochran, Chris
And Whittaker Chambers and Alger Hiss
Also to Skornia and to Lynn Parsons

~John's Pfitsch and Musser,

To the Monroe, the Penquite. and Larsen’s.
To the Music Building and its creaks

To Steve Speronis and his Greeks.

Put the turkey on the table

For Mary Traer and Nancy Abel.

We’ll not forget those boys from Ames
Charlie Adams and twins McJames

Or Peter Bradford or Ron Segal

Or the Alicea: Parker and Kegal;

When reaching home we’ll lift a glass
Eor Prexy Pat and Prexy Kass

We’ll fill a mug full up with Elatz

For Ron Kaftanski and Richard Katz.

We‘ll drink a toast to Kurth and_Kinzer
George Paterson, too, and Charlie Windsor
To the Annex gang, Bugger and Kirk
Jensen, Campbell, and Ron AVeverk.

A Christmas egg-hog we might slurp

For Marigold, Kogen, and Wyatt Earp

And Warren Sandler and the Walkers three:
Tim, big Dick, and little Soottee. ,

For the Smith girls, Julie and Sue

For Niekoli K. and the David’s Q.

For the Steiners, Dave and Hy

Absent Kim and Herr Dirk Baay

For the Wolves: John and Jim

Kenichi Sawada and Korean Sam lm

For Jack Bigelow and Robert Madgett

Norman Marble and Debra Paget

May Santa bring a colorful day

To John Black, Jane Green, and Peggy Gray

To Bob, Jackie, Charlie and the Maverick

To Jack Herman, Kenyon Knopf, and Robert ick.

May Christmas greetings not be hollow

For George Parker and his side—kick, Schwolow

And a very special joyeux noel

For Marybelle and Joseph Fell.

Greetings to the Heinas: Diane and Tom

The Hawtreys and the Henrys: Berta and Ron

To T. and Melii and little M. .

And the Younker twins: John and Quimby Day

For the La Grange folk, namely Dunc,

George, Jasper, Ron, plus Charlie Eunk

Stanley Preston and Marilyn P.

Carol Rep. and Christian T.

Greetings to the men of Younker

And pianist John, who Stroupes to conquer

May Santa leave you nothing tawdry.

Blessings on you, Sharon and Audrey.

Happy Yuletide, Sound and Fury

A Happy New Year, playing "I, the Jury.”

Of our greetings, just a smidgion

For George Allan and the Board of Religion

Cheers for Herbert and Ruth Prescott

Savage, Souza, and big Jay Bot

For Vanderpool and Velma Hiser

Annie Patterson and Peter Kizer

For Bailey and Doyle we’ll give a shout

For Egan, Rodhouse, and Kenyon Knopf

your Christmas is

merry ,

If you beat Coe, and i don't mean Larry

To Roger S. we’ll sing our song

May your joy be 6’7” long.

Hats off to engineer, old Jake -

To the Sailing Club and Rock Creek Lake

To all the staff of the 5453.
To Lori DeLay and Ernie G.

We hope this vacation you have a ball-y
That's for Bob Holmes and his girl, Pat Pauley

Greetings to the staff of old KG

TD Gary Lint and the ROTC.

Best wishes to Summers and his happy home

Next year we’ll send your greetings to Nome.

Greeley isn't going West

Still we wish ‘him all the best

For the Rineforts: F055 and Dart

For Wenthe, Jan, and Crane, Art.

May presents greet you on Christmas morn

Barbara Hall and Ruth Alcorn,

On New Year's Eve in the Y Rooms we'll tip 'em

With Nancy Booth and Marie Lipham.

To all the Friars and Mortar Board

T0 Mrs. Thompson and Mrs. Lord

Greetings also to Miss Taylor

Surely Santa Claus Won't fail her

Holiday joy to you we hurry

Mrs. Jordan. Collins, and Murray

And if you hadn’t dome, Mrs. Fetherolf

Our rhyme scheme might be a little better off.

To all the boys at the heating plant

To those that can and those that can’t

To those that don't, and those that do

Christmas greetings to you, too.

To the men who lack the loggia

To the Liquor Commission and forbidden
Ambrosia

To all the rules and the eight o’clock classes

T0 Alfred E. Newman ﬁnd Kenyon Knopf

To old Blair Hall and t0 Magoun

In ‘hopes that they’ll be torn down soon

To Gretchen Klein and Paula Dichsen

To Donner, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen

Now we’re finished and we fear

We’ve missed a lot of people here

But on this campus who's to say

Who we‘ll like from day to day _

Don't be we quick to get out of your ruts

Remember: tomorrow's triple cuts.

—SUE BERNE & CHARLIE HAYNES

 

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December H), l 955

The Sound and The Fury

By Art Travers
An Uncle Alonzo Christmas ldyll entitled:
The Ebb of Yuletide’ -
Dramatis Personae:
Dick, a student
Tom, ZI Campus wheel
Harry, a jag _
The Women’s Quad President
An Unidentified Lecher, later identified as Father
Christmas
A Yule Log
* Assorted Co-eds
Members of the Women's Quad Council
RickeriCky-Tavy, a mongoose

The Phat: A Small College; The Time: 1955

(The scene is covered clositer in the Women’s Quad. It is 10:12

Dick, Tom, and Harry are bidding three cc-eds good—night. The

Unidentified Lecher appears from the door of a women’s dorm,

a confused look is on his face. Suddenly, a siren is sounded.)

Lech, What is that?

Dick. Gotta go. Hours in three minutes.

Lech. Hours?

Tom. Uh, huh, Women's hours. They lock this placé‘ up at 10:15.

No fellas get in; no girls get out.

Lech. l see.

(Harry dashes by and sivats the Unidentified Lecher

across the seat.) ,

Harry. Let's fire up, buddy, your date‘ll get late minutes.

(Harry dashes out the last unlocked door followed
by Dick and Tom. The Unidentified Lecher wanders back
into the women's dorm that he appears from. The last door
is locked.)

(The scene shifts to the lounge of the women’s dorm. Goods
are seated about, hair pinned up, no make up; attired in bath—
robes, and looking pretty grizzly. Lecher starts in surprise. He
attempts to withdraw but is stopped at the door by the Women’s
Quad President)

Pres, Going somewhere?

Leoh.No,1...thatis,my...uh...hm7

Pres. I asked if you were going somewhere. It‘s after hours.

Lech. Yes, i know, but . . .

Pres. What’s your date's name?

Lech. Date? What date?

Pres. Oh. come on, don’t give me that. (T0 a girl) Citronella, can
the girls. We’ve got to have a Quad council meeting about
this. Tell them it's very official. They have to bring their
white robes and candles.

Girl. O.K.

Lech. Let me explain please. Yo see i just . . .

Pres. You‘ll have a lot of explai ing to do. And what's the idea
of that silly red suit? Let me smell your breath. (Smells
breath) I thought so.

Lech. One small hot toddy before leaving home. It’s Cold at home.

Pres. A likely story.
(President leads lecher off. Girls mingle about.)

1st Girl. 1 think he's cute.
2nd Girl. A man in our lounge. This is almost as good as a Yule
Log dinner.

(Scene dissolves as girls jabber on; becomes an
austere Chamber. The Quad council is seated around a large
table, the president in the middle. Lecher is seated on a
stool facing the group.

Pres. What were you doing in that lounge?

Lech. I wanted to use the chimney to get back to the roof. My
vehicle's parked up there.

Pres. is this car registered?

Lech. Registered?

Council. 0ooooooooo. An illegal car.

Lech. It’s not a car. it's a sleigh, pulled by eight reindeer.

Pres. You know you can't keep animals in your room.

Council. 000000000. Illegal animals.

Lech. I’m not a student here. I’m Father Christmas,

Pres. You expect us to believe that?

Lech. It might be a nice gesture it you believed something i said.

Pres. None of your lip.

Lech. Oh, I’m getting out of here.

Pres. The door is locked.

Lech. Nuts.

Pres. Now then, What were you doing in that lounge?

Lech. l. was checking to see if the girls were good‘girls or bad
gir s.

Pres. We don‘t have any bad girls. They're weeded out early.

Lech. You mean all you have is good girls?

Pres. That’s right. Our girls don’t smoke, drink or fornicate.

Lech. I’m not sure i approve of compulsory virtue.

Council, 000000000. Heretic.

Lech. This place is a madhouse. I’in leaving.

(Lecher walks right through the door.)

Pres. I guess he was Father Christmas.

Council. 0000000000.

Lech. (Off stage) Merry Christmas to all and to all. . .
hell with it.

oh, the

 

HAPPY
HOLIDAYS!

COLLEGE ,
BOOKSTORE

 

 

