 

Sex and death reprise

Meondc
or
motrioulo

by Jeff Miller. '75

September 14‘] begin a diary
for the 5&3 upon request oi the
editors. They also ask that I not
mention Bruce Springsteen or “A
Streetcar Named Desire" upon
penalty of being turned into TV
personality Chevy Chase They

ive a hard bargain.

. September lib—Are Bob and Bill
Waldner really twins? New
evidence suggests that this is not
, the case, I decide to examine ’the
oetry of Leonard Nimoy for clues
which will establish that they are
in fact late gangster Joey Gallo.
Will inform of results.

September 29—! saw Dean Mary
Eysenbach on “The Gong Show”
today! She did some excellent
impersonations of Kirk Douglas,
0.J. Simpson, and Chevy Chase,
It's too bad that she had to lose to
that guy who could balance a 1977
Renault on his nose. (Alan
Leichtling was on “Gong Show”
last week—he played his ‘Sym-
phony in Ursa Major’ on the

oatee, but Arte Johnson gonged

. m aiter only 2|) seconds, All for
the bestithe ‘symphony’ sounded
an awful lot like “Someone Saved
My Life Tonight.”)
October i—Louisville is a city at
ﬁprcssionl Last night I took my
date to the new disco (Fascismo’s)
and the proprietor reiused to let us
in simply because she was oi'a
diiierent speciesI Sheep have
rights, too, dammit! Ohiwait a
minute—it’s not what you think!
Fluffy and -I are just good friends!
Besides, she‘s gay
‘ October 271 receive several
extremely nasty phone calls
concerning the poor taste oi the
October 1 entry. 1 only wish to point
that many famous Americans
Whose names, 1 might add, in»
elude Streisand, Kissinger, Bellow,
Evert, All, and Chase) have en-
d rsed and engaged in sex with
dimals oi all genders. And it you
don’t believe me, then check the
latest issue of People Magazine!
October 6—The Waldners are not

Joey Gallo; however, I have acr'

new evidence which
suggests that they are in-
carcerated boxer Rubin
“Hurricane” Carter. Will check
this out.

October 11ml begin to Write a
play, to be called “How Bill
vldner Chooses Your Films."

he opening scene goes something
like this:

, ~' I: Jeepers, Jeff, 1 don’t know
hin' about movin’ pictures. Can

you help me out?

Jeffz, Sure, Bill, old pal,

Bill: Nifty! Now, here’s a movin'

picture called “Nashville.” Is it

any good?

Jeff: Billiit's excellent! Look~

“Directed by Robert Altman!"

Bill: Robert Altman? Isn‘t he the

guy who played Marcus Welby'!

Jeff: N0, neithal. was Robert

Young, Robert Altman is .

crued

Eyes Examined
Phone 236-7502

- JENSEN
OPTOMETRISTS

Earl J. Jensen, 0.0.
Clark J. Jensen, 0.0.

Across from Post Office
Closed Thursday p.m,
and Sat. p.m.

logo of 0

ed mind

Bill: Gosh, what a keen idea! Let's
get lots Of Robert Young movies!

Bill continues in this manner
throughout the first actihe
mistakes Johnny Weissmuller for
Lina Wertmuller, Don Knotts for
Stanley Kubrick, and '76 grad
Gordon Edelstein for Ingmar
Bergman. which is unr
derstandable. In the second act, he
shows “Here Come the Munsters!‘I
for four consecutive weekends and
he still gets 103 of fan letters and
action at the Pub which is not fair
at all because I did a radio show for
four years and I wrote a funny
column for two years and all i ever
got was one fan letter from some
guy named Manson and I was
lucky if I picked up a paper cup oi
lukewarm vomit at the Pub even
though I havea Bay City Rollers Tr
shirt and I know the real lyrics to
“Louie, Louie” and Bill doesn‘t
and besides, he really likes Chevy
Chase. It would be funny were it
not true, which is why Bill is hit
and killed by a speeding truck in
the final scene and I inherit all the
fan letters and women and the
profits from his international drug-
smuggling operation.

October zo—Excitementitoday
on the “Hollywood Squares" some
knight irom the crusades played
Death! Denouementithe knight
had just gone to Karen Valentine in
the middle of the rubber game of
the match when the show had to
end, (Itwasa bad move anyway—l
would have gone to Chevy Chase to
block, but this may work out.)

October Jo—My iinal entry. The
Waldners are not “Hurricane"
Carter, but 1 now understand that
they could be either the country of
Mozambique or Egyptian goddess
Isis. Will tell all in next letter.
P,Sx (Oct. 31)7Newsl Bruce
Springsteen and Tennessee
Williams are collaborating on a
new Broadway musical. to be
called “The Wild, the Innocent,
and the E Streetcar Named
Desire!!!” Hahahahall Oh oh ..
PPS, (Nov. 1) Hello, I’m Chevy
Chase and Jeffrey Miller is, too.

(Before he became Chevy Chase,
Mr. Miller held an interesting job
in Louisville collecting plastic,
paper, glass, and (occasionally)
rubber artifacts from the sides of
streets. He actually did write a
column called “Sex and Death” for
the 5&8, but Bill Waldner has
ruined all that)

Alumni .;

(continued from Daze 1)

major issues affecting the college.
Stuart Gilman, a freshman, Said
that it’s not so much a question of
hiring and tiring practices, but a
question oi President Turner's
entire attitude toward the studenm.

Dan Featherstnn Commented,
“We’ve been left out of major
decisions, Now you (the ad-
ministration) ask us for our
opinions, but it's too late, You’ve
already shown us how you see us,”

Another student said that good
intentions are not enough when it
comes down toa question oi power,
Ned Shank noted the inconsistency
oi a college policy which stresses
the importance of the individual
student's thinking, and disregards
the student’s opinions concerning
any major issue. The students
suggested the implementation of
regulations making it impossible
for the administration to make
such decisions without benefit of
student input.

Concerning Grinnell’s ade
missions policy, it was agreed that
the higher the degree oi diversity
in a student body, the more vital
the college community. it was
suggested that perhaps Grinnell
has defined “quality" in terms of
the “best qualitied applicants," in
too narrow and cognitive terms.
All types oi competencies are
necessary to a healthy society and
should be considered in the ad-
missions policies of the college.
Some concern was expressed about
the stagnation that can occur when
a College student body is over
whelmingly “white, suburban.” It
was suggested that a larger part of
the College budget be allocated for
recruitment in rural and southern
areas of the country.

The curriculum was discussed,
and some concern was generated
over the quality and accessibility
oi the Fine Arts department.
Several people believed that
Grinnell tends to misrepresent
itself in terms of course offerings
and special programs available.
Some students come to Grinnell
because of their interest in a
special field or activity, such as
communications, only to find that
the department is decidedly in-
ferior or is in the process of being
“closed out.”

The meeting, originally
scheduled from 8-9 p.m,, lasted
until 10, when it was adjourned
by Professor Kintner. Many
remained for small group
discussion, It was the general
consensus ot the iiity people in
attendance that the evening was a
positive experience which
established rapport between
Grinnell students and alumni.

Describing his surprise at the
coed johns, lormér student activist

 

 

GOBBLE UP
A
TURKEY COOKY

From

/ 7

Qt)

DANISH MAII] BAKERY

 

 

Al 8. Rick’s

It you order 2

sandwiches, you will
get 1 Free Apple

Open it p.m

 

Andy Leowi kicked bit the
Cleveland Lounge session of the
Alumni—Student discussion of the
White Paper. The fifty people in
attendance ended up rehashing the
administrative reorganization, but
not until some thought provoking
discussion was held on the White
Paper.

Most of the 2V2 hour discussion
centered on the issue oi whether or
not there was a feeling oi com~
munity at Grinnell College, One of
the key parts oi this issue was the
need or lack of need ior some type
oi a “shared experience.“

Reactions irom both students
and alumni were mixed on the
issue. A member of the class oi
1562 recalled the camaraderie
fostered by everyone taking the
same course at the same time.
However, a member oi the class of
1967 said that all he remembers
sharing was gripes. Bob Skoinik
led the defense or a required
humanities course, though he
admitted that, “it was heresy to
talk oi requirements" at Grinnell
College.

in addition to the shared ex
perience concept, some people ielt
that a mandatory course would
provide all students with a com-
mon background which protessors
could build on in other courses.

Another issue that was discussed
in some detail was the move to
increase the percentage oi Iowans
at Grinnell College. President
Turner clariiied the statement in
the white Paper, saying that the
real goal was to further diversity
the student body by getting more
rural and small town students.
“Grinnell has become a suburban
school," he said, “with non-
suburban values poorly
represented."

The, alums were also very in-
terested in how students saw the
townrcollege relationship,
suggesting that perhaps more
interaction through the use of a
night school or auditing courses for
interested townspeople would be
advisable. some students and
alumni thought this would be a
good idea but one student opposed
the idea saying, “It would detract
from the classes to admit people
who don’t meet the prerequisites.”

. the discussio

 

Eventually the discussion got
around to the issue of trust and the
administrative reorganization,
where it stayed tor the last hour oi
the meeting, The alumni were
made well aware that these issues
are of great importance to the
student body. President Turner
clariiied his view on the decision to
oiier Ms, Dental and Ms. Mc~
Cluskey part time jobs ior next

year- On complex issues such as
the ctiects oi the reorganization,
Turner said he didn't “give' a’crap‘
about a thousand signed petitions"
but “very competent input." such
as that provided by lrwin and
l-lextcr aided his decision.

The alumni were initially in
terested in hearing about the
problems stemming irom lack oi
trust in the administration. but
several soon expressed concern
that the reorganization issue was
unjustly prejudicing students
views against the White Paper.
Andy Leowi urged the students
not to take a “myopic View" ot the
situation. Students must. he said,
be concerned about the content of
the Paper, and help create the pro-
cess by which the decisions on it
are made. He said that students
ought to make a “good faith” effort
at input, and after that. if they
are ignored, they have a problem.

In the Clark lounge discussion it
became obvious to anybody who
has sat in on these discussions
before, that no one (this time the
alumni) really knows what sort of
decisions are supposed to come out
of the “White Paper.” The meeting
was attended by about 20 students,
mostly freshmen, 7 alumni and 5
taculty members.

The ensuing conversation per»
tained to the theme or community
for the next half hour. Most alumni
seemed uninformed about the.
problems of the black, Asian and
gay communities at Grinnell, They
asked students what they felt these
problems were, A general cone
sensus was that not enough in-
teraction occurs between these
different groups,

Attended b only six studean.
n Langan centered
basically on the topics oi liie in the
residence halls and methods of
arranging timc ior study.

Sing with glee. . , Tee Hee . ..
For two good years, we, . . .
Have been spared “Bo’s” Poetry.

But ales and alack

He isback...You know..

At good old Texaco .....

They moved the bus to the Park Hotel
Bul ”Bo" still has lots to sell.

Like me, . . . l lhunkie . r.

You’re a iunk food iunkie . . .

He has cakes,

cheesepopcorn, pop and candy

Smokes, beer, and milk that are just dandy.

And before this poem makes you completely ill,
Drive in and get your car a fill.
with “So” and his clan you can shopand save...

But if that doesn’tgrabyuu . . .Just honk anowave . ..

GRINNELI. TEXACO

On The Sunny Corner of bill and West
Phone 236-7219
6:00 AM. to 10:00 PM.
Sunday 8:00 AM. to 8:00 P

99,.

Al. 8. RICK

dyn-o-myfe

Weeklong Speci l

Tuesday ihruVSoiut‘dny Gardner lounge, Main Hall

 

