 

The Scarlet 8t Black. April 7, ls’ib—page 5
Patty Best Open Space ll

How to cure the-mailbox blues

As I gloomily surveyed my
mailbox the other day, it became
startlingly clear to me that the only
people in the world who really care
enough to write to me are the
people at Time. They exhibit such
a tender concern for my well-being
that it’s positively ﬂattering. At
least every other week, I receive a
letter from them urging me to
resubscribe. Sometimes this letter
comes only a week or We after I’ve
resubscribed (”Hurry! You only
have fifty more issues of Time
leftl”), but they mean well,
Theirlast letter began with “You

can imagine the quandry we’re in. ‘

If you don’t resubscribe now, you
may miss several issues of Time,
since we won’t know if you want to
resubscribe.”

Obviously, since Time cares so
much about me and is such a faith
ful correspondent, the answer to
getting more mail lies in getting on
more mailing lists or in sending for
things. Remember, we're talking
quantity here, not quality. I could
write letters to people, but that
requires a certain amountof effort.
All I really want is to be sure that I
won't fight my way back to my
mailbox only to be confronted with
an empty box.

THERE was a time when I did
get lots of ma‘ For one thing, I
had gotten on Time's ever-faithful
mailing list twice. For another, I
still wrote letters then, so I got
them sometimes. Finally, I was
perfecting the art of writing nasty
letters t companies, and they
were writing back soothing replies.

Let me explain the nasty letters.
My sophomore year, I took “The
Sociology of Sex Roles" No of our
course “texts” were the Sep-
tember issues of Playboy and
Cosmopolitan, (Someone in our
class had a terrible time we
plaining to her grandmother that
she‘had‘ to read “those things."
And the man at the Varsity

‘ things,

 

couldn‘t understand why he was
doing such a terrific business )

WE HAD to “rite a paper
comparing some aspect of the two
magazines, and my paper was on
advertising, Most of the ads
vertisments in Cosmopolitan were
for cosmetics. Although they were
Sold with a superficially
“liberated” approach (the models
Wore suits), the real sell was “It
will get you a man!” Men were
depicted as choosy consumers,
rejecting women because their
eyelashes were too short or
because the women were wearing
the wrong pantyhose. In Playboy,
men were urged to buy all sorts of
from stereos to after-
shaves, to please only themselves.
If women didn't like it, tough,

After I realized what was going
on, I started writing nasty letters
to companies to tell them I didn’t
appreciate their ads. Not only did I
feel morally right, I also got mail.
Companies don't like to alienate
the public, so apologetic letters
started coming in,

I USUALLY tried to write these
letters without revealing the true
vituperation of my nature,
assuming that my letters would get
more attention if they were not of
the gardensvariety ransomsnote
style (you know, individual letters
clipped from magazines and glued
onto paper to form a message that
says “I Hate yOU."). There were a
few cases in which it was hard to
restrain myself.

There was the time I got an of
fensive little flyer in a box of Q7
Tips. The flyer was attempting to
sell “Birthday Figurines.” These
were little china figures, suitable
for exhibition in the Kitsch
Museum, that could have
children's names and birthdays
painted on them. Little girls got

'angel figurines, while little boys

received football player figurines.
I wrote, and got tough.

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“LOOK, Q-Tip," Isaid, “do you
realize you're reinforcing outdated
sex roles?” They wrote back and
told me they were no longer selling
those figures, due to letters like
mine, and that I must have gotten
an old box or Q-Tips, since it
contained that flyer. Not only was I
insulted by the flyer, I got stale Q-
Tips.

The success of these letters was
encouraging: lbegan to widen my
range. Duringa summer in which I
worked evenings, and spent most
of my days hanging out and wats
ching soap operas, I used to watch
”All My Children” regularly. Well,
there was one really mean woman,
Claudette, on that show. Not only
was Claudette a junkie, a pusher,
and a gold-digging thief, but she
was trying to steal her mother's
second husband. You would not
nominate her for Woman of the
Year.

TIIE actress who played
Claudette was beautiful, and was
in several commercials at the
same time that she was doing “All
My Children." One of the Com-
mercials was a voicesover for a
razor, the ”Daisy Shaver," That ad
always appeared during or im
mediately lollowing “All My
Children.” I wrote a pseudo
intellectual letter to the company
and told them that I didn‘t think
they were timing the ad right.
People would hear nasty, vicious
Claudette’s voice and, un-
consciously, stay away from the
product she was advertising.

The company misunderstood,
They thought that I didn't like their
product because I hated Claudette,
and they carefully explained to me
that she was only an actress and it
was only make-believe and they
hoped I wouldn’t hold my strong
feelings about Claudette against
their product. Then they sent me
two “Daisy Shavers." This is when
I stopped writing nasty letters; I
got embarrassed. Subscribing to
things is easier and less open to
misinterpretation. (But I notice
that that actress doesn‘t do their
voiceover anymore. Maybe I have
more power than I think.)

Dave Blatt

by Andrew SchultI ,

l A topic that sets my blood aboil
is standardized tests. The tests that
make me particularly vitriolic are
4 those administered by the ETS

(Educational Testing Service),

that multi-million dollar monopoly

which plays a crucial role in
leetermining college and career

goals of every student in the
nation.

In a recent Wall Street Journal
article, the ETS president states,
“We're viewed as the nation's
gatemaker." And every student
,can certainly recognize the fact
that the ETS is “standing at the
door at all crucial points in a
person‘s life,”

THE WSJ article goes into depth
about the ETS as the dominant
testing institution and about its
close ties to powerful educational
interest groups.

The ETS defends itself by
claiming that it is “only powerful
to the extent that colleges and
graduate schools allow.it to be,”

This is a spurious defense. It is
like the phone company telling you
that they are only as important as
the customers allow them to be.

And, from the student‘s
viewpoint, there is no choice at all.
It is quite difficult to get into grad
school Without taking the GRE. or
law School Without the LSAT. (I
even doubt many have been
courageous enough to try.)

WHAT'S Wrong with the tests?
Much criticism focuses on their
inherent cultural bias. The Journal

 

 

 

 

 

 

Testing services hit

article suggests that
Since white. middle class
educators develop the tests. it only
seems logical that it will be white,
middle class students who will
excel on the tests,

Why must minority students be
given special affirmative action
consideration so that they may
attend the same quality in
stitutions as whites? Does this not
suggest the bias of the tests?

THESE tests, don't measure
qualities that are essential for
achievement in institutions of
higher learning. They do not
measure organizational skills,
innovative and creative abilities,
insightfulness, or compassion.
Education, particularly the liberal
arts education. is fruitless without
, these qualities.

Another part of this that really
gets me steamed is the total lack of
accountability of the testing
organizations. Students have .no
input into the content or testing
procedures.

RIGHT NOW, these tests are a
sacred cow of professional
education. In the wake of the
college attendance boom, iris
stitutions have come to depend on
these flawed tests for their ex»
peditious manner in dealing with
applicants,

But the tests are no good. They
are unfair, Why should my future
be determined by a Single test,
administered by a group of ivory
tower educators who somehow
consider themselves beyond the
scrutiny of students or the eye of
public-policy makers?

I have no faith in the present
standardized tests. Join me and
refuse to take the tests. They can‘t
operate without test takers.
Besides, their fees are exorbitant,
Take the money you save from
taking a test and apply to another
School, Tell all the schools what
you are doing and why. Tell them
that the person you want them to
consider for acceptance is not
expressed in one, two, or more
numbers that are scores from
insipid, insidious, unjustifiable
tests.

 

 

 

Beware the pitfalls of elitism

The incongruity ot a college of
primarily metropolitan and
suburban students located in the
middle of a central Iowa farming
community has caused many
problems and misunderstandings.
One of the worst of these is the
pressure Grinnell students often
apply to themselves because they
think the college is isolated.

There seems to be a prevailing
view among the college com-
munity, even in some of the ad-
missions material, that Grinnell
College is some sort of ivorystower
oasis in the midst of a cultural and
intellectual desert,

The urban background of many
Grinnellians seems to render them
unable to understand or appreciate
the college‘s location. Iowa far-
mers are spoken of with
patronizing smiles, and at every
break, there is talk of “getting
bacl' to civilization." Not only is
this impression completely untrue,
but it can also have unfortunate
consequences for the lives of
students here at Grinnell

TllOUGll the town of Grinnell’s ‘

relative quiet and small size are
sometimes touted as pastoral
virtues conducive to serious study,
the air of condescension is still
present. It is as it the Big G is
somewhat of an anachronism, a
quaint island of rural America cut
off from the real urban World
where everything happens—a nice

place to spend four years, but you
wouldn’t want to liVe there,

In fact, there is a lot going on in
this town, as in any small town, if
we only care to look for it. Grinnell ‘
is an active, progressive city and
many people have spent their lives
here with no apparent ill effects.
The town and the college could ‘
: complement each other quite well
if the students would realize that
Grinnell is a real place with real ‘
lpeople, not an insignificant spot in
lthe middle of nowhere, populated
by alien and unfamiliar “townies.”
‘ THE ONLY real drawback to the
college’s location, though an im-
portant one, is the absence of a
significant black community. This
makes it difficult for the College to ‘
attract black faculty and students, .
and forces the blacks who do come i
here into the uncomfortable ’l
position of either clinging to the
tiny black community or being
, submerged in a white sea,

But hnwever idyllic Grinnell
appears from my perspective, the
fact remains that many, if not
most, students do not see it the way
I do. Suburban elitism and urban
tchauvinism run rampant on this
campus. One of Grinnell’s greatest
defects is the homogeneous
suburban background of many of
its students. students who try to

 

Grinnell’s concerts program is one
of the best in the country and that
every effort should be made to
keep itthat way, or else the college

Yi will not be able to attract students
because of its location. It seems as
if the suburban students are trying
to transplant their own com-

,iortable subculture in rural Iowa,

,to make Grinnell the westernmost

‘suburb of Chicago

They feel that they are a lonely,
educated community in the midst
iof a wilderness, and this con-
tributes to the insulated,
pressurized atmosphere on
campus, an atmosphere which

[some bigscity stu_dents are unable

, to cope with.

They are used to being able to
lose themselves in metropolitan
anonymity and having every
lconvenience within easy reach,

1‘and are rather uneasy in a place

‘where everybody knows what
everybody else is doing

The College should abandon its
ambivalence about its Iowa
heritage and stop pretending that
it‘s somewhere else besides
Grinnell. Instead of trying to close
ourselves off from our surroune
dings to create an artificial
suburban environment, we should
seek and enroll students who are
prepared to accept life in a rural

 

bring their suburban lifestyles with
them when they come here.
WE ARE told, for instance, that

setting and are prepared to like it

 

 

