3‘

The Grinnell Scarlet and Black, September 12, 1915—pi 5

* Spacy network news ‘

ByJoiir-ey Miller
In case you missed the first in-
stallment oi this column, we were
contemplating the iaults oi
children’s television, leading to a
discussion of several new shows
proposed by the networks for the
11975777 television year. in the in-
terest oi brevity and quality, we
shall discuss only the two most
. amusing examples of what’s
coming to fill the Saturday More
ning Void.
STAR TREK IliAfter the
success and resultant cancellation
'0f the first Star Trek cartoon
‘series, Gene Roddenberry and
Filmation Associates conferred
and came up with a more
“relevant and modern" sequel
which NBC has accepted and
which, with any luck, we'll be able
to miss next year, in “Star Trek
II,” Captain Kirk has left to fuliill
his long-time aspiration to be God,
and Mr. Spock has been
'& mysteriously killed in an accident
involving a bottle oi Saurian
brandy, Nurse Chapel, and the
Magic Fingers bed in sickbay.
Through the miracle of universal
rather-sisterhood, Uhura has
been made captain, with Chekov
ascending to the rank of science
officer, and with sulu, Scotty, and
Dr, McCoy retaining their original
, nks as helmsman, chiei
engineer, and ship’s surgeon.
respectively. Captain Uhura has,
however, madea iew changesithe
starship is now called the u,s.s.
Disco, and her fiveryear mission is
“to teach those aliens how to do the
Hustle." Party music is featured
twenty-tour hours a day, much oi it
being supplied by the captain and
her backeup hand, the Pimps
‘ iScotty, Chekov, and Bones). Sulu
is, oi course, the ship's martial arts
‘xpert and does a mean version of
"‘Kung-E‘u Fighting” to boot.
And naturally there is the Ship’s
new mascot. a lovable, mangy
tribble named Dog.
in the first episode, written by
Gloria Gaynor, the Disco meets a
hostile ship from Beta Jive S, The
Jivers, recognized by their
sunglasses, berets, goatees, and
their propensity to do nothing but
sit around and snap their lingers,
paralyze the Disco through the use
oi the “Be-Bop” rayia weapon
which shuts down all the
jukeboxes’ and sends aboard a
“sonic disruptor" consiting of old

tapes oi Charlie Parker, Dizzy
Gillespie, and Oscar Peterson. As
the disabled ship and crew are
being towed back to Beta Jive 5,
Captain Uhura and Bones manage
to create a methaqualone gas
which, when Sent through the
ship’s ventilation system, revives
the whole crew and gets them
dancing. Alter this, it is a simple
matter for Sulu to beam aboard the
alien vessel and Tai Kwon Do up
the entire lethargic crew, ireeing
the Disco and sending its happy
crew on their merry wav to the
tune of “Beyond Antares (pt. 1).”

05556 and

Gaga/1

Guest appearances in future
episodes will be made by Harold
Melvin and the Klingons, the
Melkotian Unlimited Orchestra,
the Average Romulan Band, and
Vulco Tex and his Seer-Lettes, All
voices in the series will be provided
by the original actors, with the
exception of Captain Uhura. who
will be vocalized by Mel Blane.

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS—
NBC, Mattel, and Super-
marionation (the people who gave
you “Fireball XL»5" and
“Stingray”) colaborated on this
show. By using marionette-like
dolls, the three hope to present the
first soap opera acceptable to pre-
teen girls. As the series opens, we
iind Barbie and Ken Doll happily
marriedior so we think. However,
Barbie is jealous oi her neighbors,
Midge and Allan Dahl, as Midge
has a new child, oddly named No
More Tears. Barbie wants a child
badly and gets into an argument
with Ken about it. Ken, however, is
sterile and is hiding this fact from
Barbie. To further complicate
matters, Midge’s child is not really
Allan's, but actually the oiispring
of (1.1 Joe Doel, a Vietnam vet who
met Midge at an American Legion
banquet. G.1. Joe is presently
living With Malibu Barbie Dall,
who is also having relations with
Big Josh Dolle. Big Jim Dull, who
has been in love with Malibu
Barbie ior years finds out about
this and kills Big Josh. He attempts
to go after GI. Joe, but is stopped
by Ken’s alcoholic secretary
Skipper Daul, who has been

sleeping with Ken OH and on lor
some time now. After going to a
bar {or some drinks, Skipper and
Big Jim retire to her apartment ior
a “nightcap'lewhere Ken is
waiting for them The second Show
is even more exciting

In an attempt to inculcate these
girls to what it means to be an
American women-housewife, the
show is being sponsored by
Palmolive dishwashing liquid,
Aero Wax, the Playtex Free Spirit
bra, and Dismiss Disposable
Douche. Voices include Patty Duke
as Barbie, Rodney Allan Rippy as
No More Tears, and Mel Blanc as
all others.

This column was written and
directed by Chuck Jones, my voice
was supplied by Mel Blanc, and l
was sponsored by Kenner‘s and M
& M’s. T-trtrtrthat’s all, folks!

Hex

5% Jean-Luc Who?

Shy nanllextcr

The iollowing is the complete
unabridged poem round on the
back of Jean Luc Ponty’s latest
release:

”Bear me away, my soul

upon the wings oi music

away to those enchanting skies

Where space is blue and
deeper,"
wow. No, wait. I probably didn’t
like it because Lobatto again won
my lunch money over the pool
table. 0.K., I’ll start again.

Skip the poem. Jean Luc Ponty
has released “Upon the Wings oi
Music" (Atlantic SDIEIBS). Parity
plays electric violin, violectra,
acoustic violin and a string syn~
thesizer. That's it you say’! Just
about, (or this album lacks one of
the most important musical
qualities: INNOVATION, With
Patrick Rusher on the keys, Dan
Sawyer on guitar, and Ndugu
(Leon Chancler) on drums, I could
only jump irom cut to cut in the
hopes that some tune would hit the
spot. No chance.

Koko Taylor sang blues and soul tor a lively South Lounge crowd.

Ponty came to the U.S. as a
classically trained French
violinist, and immediately iell into
the rubber arms ot Frank zappa.
Frank gave him quite a workout,
and he shined on several Mothers'
albums, He then recorded,“King
Kong" (his iirst solo album) and
moved into John McLaughlin’s
Mahavishnu Orchestra, replacing
Jerry Goodman as the orchestra
regrouped. Why or how he ended
up recording “Upon the Wings .
is beyond me. The cuts are all in 4.

‘ 4, and sort of fillibrate between

Chick Corea's and Bill Cobham’s
electric 8.5. We start with the title
cut “Funk" tascheap as it comes),
move into a tew AM Ballad type
cuts, then out with the same. My
apologies, Jean Luc, but your
reputation will have to remain
intact in memory alone.

+++

In order to salvage ﬂ'lis week‘s
column, I jumped into lLarry
Coryell’s “The Restiul Mind”
(VSD79353). Coryell plays a
beautiful Lo Pliinzi acoustic guitar,

Under the door

l

and gets down with a tow members
of Oregon. Ralph Towner provides
nice chords, Collin Wolcott does a
iine job with some Indian per-
cussion, and Glen Moore holds his
own on acoustic bass. i

A iavorite oi mine irom thb
album is a cut entitled “Pavane
For a Dead Princess” which is a
Coryell arrangement or a tune by
Ravel. The song is a beautitul bit at‘
classical improvisation. i could go
on fl’om song to song, but they are
all beautiiul, as it Coryell recorded
his dreams. i

Another iavorite was a cut en-
titled "Julie La Belle.” Corvell
originally dedicated it to his
semitic wite. Here we can picture a
younger Coryell serenading Julie
with sweet improvisation, No pun
intended~it really is beauty to the
ear.

+++

Final words—next week we have
the‘, blindiold test, with Charles
Davis discussing those who play
the reeds, and Mike Stillman
conducting the interview. Until
then, happy trails , . .

\

Scott McMurray

Mrs. Ford is the ﬁrst women's
libber to ever speak her mind from
the White House. While other lirst
ladies have been suspected of
under-lhe-covers diplomacy, in the
Ford White House, Betty has not

only thrown away the covers, but
the top sheets as well, leaving no
aspect oi the Ford’s personal life
unexposed.

Most First Ladies are supposed
to be smiling tigureheads, sans the
head—not so with Mrs, Ford. She is
the lirst President’s spouse who
has shown that she has a little gray
matter surrounding the space
above her shoulders.

The following is a small list of
Betty’s insights up to last week:

On marijuana: “I’m sure my
children have tried marijuana. All
young people are trying it these
days, aren’t they?”

Onpre-mnrilalsex: “Itwouldn’t
surprise me at all it Susan had an
aiiair with a young man. I just
hope she would have the sense to
talk to her mother about it,"

(in Ford sex: “Reporters have

asked me everything else but how
often I sleep with my husband. The
answer is, ‘as oiten as possible.’ "

So, when Mrs. Ford heard of the
attempt on her husband's life last
week, she replied with me candor
that all Americans have become
tamiliar with, “It’s something you
just have to live with.”

Carrying this allrencompassing
irankness a step rurther, it is easy
to imagine what Mrs. Ford might
have said when she heard that the
would-be assassin was one of the
charles Manson’s iamily:

”I just can't understand how any
man, regardless oi his political
belieis, would allow his daughter to
do such a thing. This shows the
extent to which the moral ﬁber and
the family institution have
deteriorated in this great country
oi ours. Gerry and i have always

believed in giving our children a
certain a ount of independence,
but this independence has always
been tempered by‘ a strong
religious upbri ging. To think that
a familv man like Mr. Manson
would encourage his own daughter
to try 'a thing like that with my
Gerry is deplorable." ,1

Mrs. Ford should be applauded
ior her ‘firm grasp of current
events and her shooting-frum-the-
hips type comments that are a
beacon in the darkness ior good
Americans everywihere, _

As the story ends,ione can almost
hear Betty's own bedside solution:
“I've told you all along Gerry, that
the cause of all these troubles is the
lack oi a mother image in national
politics, Now ii you will just put
that nice lady on the Supreme
Court, .honey. ,

 

