Page Eight

SCARLET AND BLACK

Friday, February I}. we

SCARLET 8 BLACK SPORTS

mmeeeeeee seaweeds; THE WEEKLY SPORT SPALE codenamerawarae fearsome

Lament of The Editor:

It is Characteristic of colum-
nists and commentators to spend
much of their time elaborating
the answers to asinine questions
of their own devising. This
perversity is especially promi-
nent at Grinnell, since most
pressing questions seem to gen-
erate bizarre pentacostal revi-
vals of the confrontative or cons
fessional sort on the one hand,
or a particularly ghastly form of
death by attrition known as the
ad hoc committee on the other.

The outcome of this, quite
apart from a plethora of disenr
questioned answers, is the under-
standable reluctance of anyone
to expose himself to this regu-
larly, much less weekly. Do any
of you have any idea of what it’s

like to ask a question here'! I
sent out a questionnaire iast

week: “What is the value of
sports?" In response to this I
received 17 signed confessions of
implication, 2 angry denials, a
complimentary subscription to
Christian Economics, advice to
consult the Shorter Oxlord
Greek-English Lexicon
(provided, of course, that I am
willing to accomodate myself to
the 'n‘uth) and 8 pounds 5V2
ounces of Monmouth College
press releases.

I also received a form letter
from the University of Iowa's
Athletic Director informing me
that it depended upon ability and
so forth, but that sports could be
worth up to $1,900 a year laundry
money, plus board, bed, and tui-
tion. This, of course, does not
include whatever endorsements,
Bar Mitzvah‘s, and such like
could be picked up on the side.
Nor did he fail to mention the
possibility of a small Cut of a
brass plaque (Richard Nixon
autogrjph model) given an ex-
ceptional year and a restirgence
of Democratic sentiment in Iowa.
These of course, are the im-
ponderables of chance that a
good sportsman must learn to
face bravely in this cause and
effect universe,

All of Which does criminally
conspire to bring me to within
seizing distance of the point of
all this. For it is my,pride (and
I say this unashamed) that a
Sportspage can be run on sports-
men’s principles, good, clean,
and decent. Just as it is the
American way to play to win, so,
failing this, it is the American
Way to field a team, play for a
stipulated length of time on the
proper sort of field, and follow
all sorts of splendid provisions
which, along with those of vicV
tory, are laid away in the Rule
Books.

Cause and Effect in the news-
paper game begins on Sunday
night, Each Sunday night there
is a staff meeting, in which the
staff meets in the 8&3 room to
sit on the typewriters and watch
Lloyd and Harry light their pipes.
I frequently cannot go to this

meeting due to unavoidable
circumstances such as my for-
getting it.

Then on Monday morning,
Lloyd sneaks up on me in the
Forum while I am wondering
why l ever bothered to get up.
He lights his pipe and asks how
the ol’ Sportspage looks this
week. Ilie to him cheerfully and
he goes off happy.

There are only two fundamen-
tal axioms necessary to this
craft:

Axiom One: Sports happens
on Friday and Saturday

Axiom Two: The college
information office has the
scores and a small stockpile of
jargon on Tuesday afternoons
for immediaterelease

AX. 2, Schol. 1: It might well
behoove the editor to be there
on Tuesday afternoon.

Thus I am freed to spend
Monday and Tuesday in whole-
some pursuits such as dancing
the Egyptian Polka and shooting
Polar Bears.

Until Wednesday, that is. On
Wednesday, Harry sneaks up to
tell me that he's got a photograph
of a basketball or something. He
wants to know if I have a story
for it.

So it’s Wednesday, and I need
a writer. A good way of getting
a writer is by means of what we
in the trade call Cajolery. Cajol-
ery is when you write an anony-
mous letter, threatening to place
a bomb in the gas tank of his
diseased 1959 Buick unless the
writer delivers a Sepage article
to the 8&3 office in a plain brown
wrapper by Thursday noon.

Thursday is layout day, when
it is incumbent upon everyone to
read the letters to the Editors
and walk around bawling “I Want
photos," “I want headlines.” and
“I want a special greasy proofs
reading pencil with no tooth-
marks on it,” and so forth. This
yields a layout, three nervous
breakdowns, and a warm feeling
of professional pride.

Then we put Lloyd and Harry
in the car, tell them that they
can‘t have their pipes back until
the papers are in the mailboxes,
and take a well~deserved rest.

Allof which goes to point up
the truth of what a Great Ameri-
can (Vince Lombardi. I think it

easternmost?

Undefeated Grinneii Swimmers Roll Over
How To Write The Weekly Article Carleton, St. Olaf' Face Knox This Week

Enjoying an enthusiastic full
house Friday and Saturday, the
swim team’s last home meets
were particularly excellent. Fri-
day’s effort was outstanding, as
we defeated with ease our
toughest competition so far this
season. Most of the team turned
in their year’s best times, and
the weekend provided for new
school record;

Friday’s Carletonmeet started
out Well with a victory in the
medley relay. Ron Brammer,
Bruce McKean, Jim Williams,
and Jim Carms teamed up to win
the vital seven points. Mike
Daley broke school records in the
loan and 500 yard freestyle events
(he lost both races, however, to
Carleton’s ArnesonJ Bruce

Continued iron. page 5

the redress, honored in

tradition. is also revolution. .

where grievances pile high

and most of the elected
spokesmen represent the

Establishment, violence may

be the only effective response.
Strong words, coming from one
of the Establishment‘s own
“elected spokesmen." The
question is open,‘yet academe’s
experts never raise it.

What is especially noteworthy
about all this is the affinity of
our Social Science and our
foreign policy. Surely
U.S. postwar foreign policy is
accurately described as Counter-
revolutionary Interventionism.
The Truman, Eisenhower,
Kennedy, Johnson Doctrines
speak the message clearly, as do
our aggression in Greece,
Lebanon, Guatemala, Iran,
Brazil, Laos, the Dominican
Republic, Vietnam, etc.
Academic Social Science, as in—
tellectual votary of the status
quo. is not only ideological propa—
ganda, but counterrevolutionary
propaganda. Thus, if Social
Science provides a counterrevol-
utionary rationale for U.S. global
policies, and U.S. educational in-
stitutions are a crucial source of
official Social Science, our
colleges and universities are
umbilically tied to the barbarities
of U. 5. foreign policy, This is
not surprising, as imperialism’s
body politic has always required
a functioning brain. We in»
tellectuals are cells of that very
brain. What irony, then, that we
watch Battle of Algiers horriﬁed
and shaken by what we See, while
at the same time we are func-
tioning constituents of a social
organ that rationalizes battles
like Algiers for the wrong Slde,

Laura Marx once turned to the
revolutionary with the words
“Father, what is happiness“
“To fight,”he replied.

was) once said: “I couldn’t 'a
done it without a great team
behind me." Let all the people

say “Amen."
John Nigel Pepper

By Reggie cinhnm
Rollins broke the school and pool
record in the zoo; his 1:53 tied
the conference record in that
event (unofficial.)

Saturday against St. olaf Rollie
broke another school and pool
record, He beat last year's con
ference champ and the runner
up in that event by swimming
a 27.5 sec. on yo. freestyle. Jim
Williams turned in a 2:195 sec,
200 yd, backstroke for his best
of the year. Also turning in
season‘s best times were: Robert
Brown (500), John McBlain
(1000), Hal Dale (200 butterﬂy),
and Jim Carns (200 free). Don
Like won the diving both days
with little competition from
either school.

This week we face Knox at

Galesburg. It will be our toughest
meet so far, although the tough»
est of the year will be against
Cornell, Feb. 27, Cornell is the
defending Champion in swimr
ming, and whoever wins the
Grinnell-Cornell meet could very
well be this year's conference
champ. Cornell even promises
that a band is coming to cheer
its team on during the meet.
We need the support of anyone
who could make it to the meet.
There is the possibility of a bus
going if enough people are inter-
ested. Contact Kathy Abbott or
Jim Williams if you would like
to go Friday. Feb. 27. to see an
undefeated Grinnell team face,
last year‘s conference champs in
the best meet of the season.

Hoopsiers Halve Two Close Ones;
Quint Phea Tips in Win Over Knox

The Grinnell Pioneers split a
pair of home games this
weekend as they lost to Mon-
mouth 75-67 and pulled out a 75771
victory over Knox. Bob Burnett
had the highest scoring weekend
of his career as he rolled in 27
points against Monmouth and 28
against Knox to lead Grinnell
scoring for both games.

Friday night the Scots jumped
to a 31~23 halftime lead, but
Grinnell came back in the second
half to within one point, only to .,
fall behind once again as’the
clock ran out.

Y5?"

Saturday night was a different
story as Grinnell' and Knox
battled evenly the whole game.
Don Peterson was the second
highest scorer for the Pioneers
as he bagged 16 points. Both
teams pumped in points con»
sistently until Grinnell pulled
away in the last few minutes to
Win by four points with Quinton
Phea’s last second tiprin.

Grinnell now stands 45 in
conference play and 5-3 overall.
This weekend they face Carleton
and St. Olaf for the last home
gama until February 27,

The orinncll College White Caps, a synchranhcd snhnining
group, will present a program on Thursday and Fl'iLm' of nut

week,

ADDRESS HERE!

 

