The Scarlet and Black. March 18. l

 

 

 

Briefs

 

Joint board actions

The Joint Board passed regulations regarding loud stereos at
Wednesday night's meeting. Under the regulations, all complaints
about noise from people not living on campus will be investigated.
The hall where the stereo is located will be fined $20 unless the
student responsible for the noise is identified. Then that student Will
be fined $10 and the line against the hall will be lifted.

In other action, the Board attempted to appropriate money ior
the Grinnell Relays Considerable debate developed over the
consumption oi alcohol at ail-campus events and about the Relay's
budget. The meeting was then adjourned because of a lack of a

quorum: no action was taken.

SGA positions open

A large number oi StudentGovernmentAssociation positions will

he tilled in the near future. Applications are due by April it.
The open spots include treasurer. student coordinator, assistant
student coordinators tthreci, auditor, administrative assistant,
- social coordinator, concerts committee chairpersons ttwoi, movie
committee chairpersonhlew StudentDays committee chairperson,

and pet hoard chairperson.

Awards ceremony

This year’s Phi Beta Kappa award ceremony will be held
Thursday. April 7, at a pm. in Herrick Chapel. Protessor Harvey
Brooks or Harvard University will speak about “The Expert and
the Politician." Protessor Brooks is Benjamin Pierce Protessor oi
Technology and Public Policy Twontysix seniors and live juniors
will be announced as this year's Phi Beta Kappa recipients

Will be presented with certificates,

Kozol to speak
on education

Jonathan K0201. outspoken critic or educational policies and
procedures in the public schools, will speak in South Lounge on
Wednesday, April 6 at 8 p.m. His topic will be ”Education: Ethics
or Indoctrination?" Author of Death at an Early Age, a National
Book Awardrwinning study based on his experience with the
education of ghetto Children, Kozol more recently has written 'l'lie‘
Night is Dark and l I\m Far From Home, a book about the
t-ducation oi middle- and upperrclass children.

Buy a speech from Jeff Miller *

To the editor: Well, seniors, it‘s
that time of year—Commencement
Day is just around the corner, and
you're starting to get “that
ieeling" in your stomach. I ought
toknow—l graduated last year and
Lord knows I had those feelings.
But I'd like you seniors to pause a
moment and ask yourselves it your
commencement is really what it
should bHis it a meaningful,
important, eternal experience?
Sure, you get your diploma and
you're graduated, but what else is
there'.’ I’ll tell you. You get to listen
toa speaker of some fame give you
the same old rigamarole about the
future for some thirty minutes (at
the most).

Now, considering the number oi
people who are to he graduated,
this , ﬁgures out to only seven
seconds of the speech per person,
Only seven seconds! 'And for all
you know, your seven seconds
might be just the opening “Thank
you, ladies and gentlemen.” Or
the seven seconds it takes him-her
to clear the throat. Or the seven
seconds during which he or she is
being goosed by your hilariously
funny PrsidentA Richard Turner
(“ the Jerry Lewis of college
pres ents . . . "). I think you’ll
agree with me, my friends, when I
say that this is a ripe“.

But now, Mr. and Ms Grinnell
Senior, help is at hand, My new
service, the Jeffrey S. Miller
Personal Commencement Speech
Service, guarantees that your
commencement will exist as a
shining beacon in your memory
forever. With my service, you, Mr
or Ms. Senior, get you own per-
sonal, individual the minute long

 

commencement speech, delivered
by me, on the topic oi your choice

Dixon

tcoiit. troin p. it

Since then, he has moved to Des

Moines and becomea man oi many ,

titles, He is an “assistant in
music” at Grinnell College, a
“visiting lecturer" at St. Ambrose,
an “adjunct assistant professor"
at Grandview, and “hey, you” at

at the time and place oi your
choice. One-and-one-half
minutesithirteen times the
speech you get from the official
speaker!

Last year, 1915 graduate David
J. Rice oiiered my class the same
deal. A lot oi the people in my class
were stupid~they passed it by, But
for the few of us who took Dave
up on his Offer, commencement
was a genuinely moving and
memorable experience. Don‘t you
want your commencement to be
the same? What you want to hear,
when you want to hear it, and
where you want to hear itican you
afford to pass this offer by?

Right now, I’d like to share with
you some ot the tremendous
response 1 have received iollowing
some advance llyers I sent out
concerning the Jeffrey S. Miller
Personal Commencement Speech
Service, The first letter
comes from co-film chairman Bill
Waldner and co-concert
chairman Pat Irwin.

DearJell:

We read your super offer and we
think it's a super‘idea. Could you
speak to us on the topic oi
“Streisand and Kristofferson in ‘A
Star Is Born’inmerica ' in the
Seventies????????"

Well, Bill and Pat, 1 mink i could
speak on that topic for six or seven
hours at least, so l'i’z minutes is no
sweat! Just name the time and the
place, and I’ll be there! You see,
folks— it’s that simple. Now
here’s a letter from senior Barbara
Straus.

Dear Jeff:

What a wonderiui idea! My very
own speechi I'd really appreciate
it it you could speak to me on
”Why Louisville and Des Moines
Are Wonderful Places to Live."

Barbaraithat is one tough
topic tor me to speak a iull l‘ig
minutes on, but since you want it.
you got itl Here’s a letter trom a
senior who calls himself “Dan” (no
last name—wonder who it could
be??).

Wlla's happenin‘—

Like, man. this is the coolest gig

I've seen in a long time, and you
are one cat who can really WAIL!
Like, can you lay some vibes on me
about “Where Can 1 Buy Largk
Quart ties of Narcotics East of the
Missis. ppi River?"

“Dan, " I’ve been doing ex-
tensive research on that very topic,
and I can assure you that your
personal commencement speech
will be most informative. Now,
iinally, a letter from 5&8
Columnist Mark Anderson.

Derc Masive Kcntukian:

i seen your ad. Yow was always
the tuniest person i ever knowed
here. I think. Can you come talk to
me about “How to Rite Puma“
Coiums Good?" You are my hero.

Well, Mark, lwas going to speak
to you about “Meteorology in the
Higher Altitudes," but whatevz‘
you want, you getgfrom th
Jeffrey S. Miller Personal Com-
mencement Speech Servtcel

Well, seniorsithere you have
it, Five seniors whose com-
mencement is going to mean a lot
more than some stick-inrthe-mud
recitinglyrics from “Blowin’ in the
Wind" (although if you want that,
I'll do it). Don't you want your
commencement to be like theirs—
isomething you’ll be able to tell
your grandchildren about with
pride? Well, here’s how you do it.
Simply write on the back of a

stcard your name, the top' =
52m choice, and when and wise?
you would like your speech
delivered and address that post
card to: Jeffrey S. Miller Personal
Commencement Speech Servi ‘
the first copy on the left of Ten-
nessee Williams’ “A Streetcar
Named Desire"; Burling Second;
Grinnell College, Grinnell, Iowa,
50112. Act now, Mr. or Ms. Senior,
so your commencement can be a
golden memory you will treasure
forever.—Jeiirey S. Miller '76

thir. Miller is currently
appearing as “Cities oi the Plain"
in Marcel Proust‘s “A la
Recherche du Temps Perdu." He
will soon be seen in the audiencs
l“Soundstage: with the Sex
Pistols")

 

Hexter respondsis

internship lecture

iis Joyce Yu. internship Coordinator at Carleton College, will
speak here on April 7 at 4:15 p.m. in Ann ll. Her topic will be
"internship and a Liberal Education ,, Students will be able to ask

lowa state. Although he has perr
iormed recently in three recitals,
he tinds that his constant traveling
and heavy student loadcuts into

to Rosenfield

questions after her remarks

 

 

 

 

 

 

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his practice time, and prevents
him trom strengthening his
repertoire, He says that he
“doesn't mind,” for he is doing
something he “enjoys im~
menselv."

He notes that of all the
students he teaches, most of those
at Grinnell “advance more
quickly." Although some are
“lax," most “Show more intellect"
and “have a tendency to work
harder," Dixon, though. makes it a
policy not to pressure students. He
says that he appreciates the
tremendous work loads they otten
carry and strives to provide them
with an outlet, an alternative
means oi expression,

Anna Gardener, like many oi
Dixon's Student at Gi‘innell
College. feels that he is an CV-
cellent teacher " She says that his
suggestions are “always helpful,”
and that, above all, hC IS just a
“nice person,"

Dixon plans to “practice.
practicc. practice" this silmmcr
and to perhaps take another
master class at Montana State or
with Peppy Romero at the
UniverSitV of Southern California.
Next yea . lie “oultl like to cut
down his traveling time. that is.
spend more time in tower places

Douglas Dixon is a classwal
guitarist, a sometimeclutcnist. a
singer, and an expert on driving
the intcl‘states. He is, also, in all
senses of the word, it teacher
dedicated to sharing his art with
others.

To the editor: I’m not one who
makes use of this editorial space
with any irequency, but Trustee
Joe Rosenfield has made a Serious
error in his appraisal of campus
altitudes. Thus. the pen rises to my
hand, You see, Mr, Rosenfield,
what you criticize is actually the
attitude you should applaud What
you as a trustee see is Mr. Turner's
cliort to coordinate and maintain
all aspects of college affairs,
whether financial or other. What
we see tiaculty and students
alike) is the result of those efforts
A similar Situation is the case of
the\athlete, whose coach may ieei
that the athlete exhibits excellent
training discipline, but fails to win
any competitions. We at Grinncll
may have a iine trainer, a line
athlete, but we have a rather
serious discrepancy in our win-loss
record.

Granted the seventies are not a
prosperous time tor many small
colleges. No longer can we aitord
to maintain our cultural programs
\\Ill'l full time staff. ue musl also
seek iiicul ' candidates with less
regard for and race: and more
regard tor the lowest possible
negotiated contract, Yet. l\‘Ii‘.
Rosenficld sees the college in a
better siluiitlon [hall in the
tucnlies.

it is possible that the only real
difference between Mr Roscnficld
and the attitude he sees ‘fit to
criticize is the iact that, in his day
as a student, better facilities were
needed just to provide basic

necessities tor the college to
iunction. We now graciously play
our football games on the field Mr.
Rosenfield probably missed during
his days on campus. But this
generation oi students sees even
far greater achievements wit 'n
the means oi the college. We tcci
we can design and iollow some
primary guidelines in ordei‘il
treat the hiring of women . .1
minorities in a more just iashion
than we do,

In reply to the terms attirniative
action and equal opportunity as
Trustee Rosenﬁeld knew them, I
have but one thing to say. We
change our terms as our directions
and ideologies necessitate those
very changes. We change our
minds when one condition makes
another condition impossible to
maintain.

Thus, Mi . Turner essentially has
made our minds change How - ou
say? By showing us n hat we do. t
\iant WC Care little for golf Carl
and horseback riding college
presidents on “skip" day We care
littlc m the rusting campus
adornment which now gr
central campus. We do care about
the state ot women employees on
the campus. we do care about our
cultural programs tespecially
since we pay loi- lhemt and iinally,
we do care ‘lbout the general
health of our academic ate
inospliei-c. it this campus cannot
be proud oi this attitude, what else

 

have we to be proud til? naiiicl
llextcr. ‘77, Future 1rustec.

 

