carolyn i. miller

Iowan, and proud of it

We all know the old cliche “When in
Rome,.." and I’m sure we enlighted,
unethnocentric Grinnelllans are all [or
it. No one likes to travel to Europe
and look like a tourist,Cnd forbid! In
fact. most travelers to Europe a're
flattered when someone mistakes
them [or a native. ..

In London, you go to pubs in an old
tweed and try to keep your mouth
shut. ln France, you rehearse your
order for a sandwich de jambon ten
minutes before you make a {001 out at
yourself and utter it, even if you're on-
ly in a train station.

In Germany, you thank your lucky
stars you’re big and blond and hope
they don‘t nou'ce you it you aren’t. ln
all these attempts, you strive to “go
native," and this is certainly an
honorable pursuit,

Why is it then that students bother
to go to school in Iowa, yet constantly
broadcast to others that they aren't
natives? (”Me'! Oh I’m from New
York.,,can't you telll“) Why do many
Grinnell students seek to create bar-
riers between themselves, other
Iowans, and “townies?” (A patroniz-
ing word, to say the least, Did you
ever stop to consider that you may be
a “townie" to students at Columbia?)

Why is it that people choose to come
to Grinnell; knowing full well that hot
pretzels aren't sold at every corner,
yet refuse to submerge themselves in
local culture? Or are you going to try
and say “what culture?”

Don’t throw cheap shots at me. I'm
Iowa ethnic and proud of it, (And I
haven't always lived in Des Moines,
the Big Apple oI the Midwest, either.)

Understand that when I suggest you
submerge yourselt in Iowa culture,
I’m not suggesting you make a token
trip to the Amanas for a pig-out. The
Amana Colonies are a freak. (Believe
me, Iowa culture has nothing to do
with radar-range ovens.) Although, a
visit there is a start, for those of you
who haven’t.

I mean the Iowa culture
of,.,well,..£or instance.,.FOOD, (or one
thing Go ahead. Try a week of Iowa
ethnic gourmet cuisine. If you’re veg»
gie, forget it! You should have stayed
in Palatine, Illinois. Real Iowans are
not veggies. Our palates crave meat!

If you’re serious about this “when in
Iowa... ' bit, may I suggest the follow-
ing delicacies, all of which I’ve
delighted in mysélt. “Blood sausage.
A delectable tube of intestine stuffed

\lovember 9, I979

with cultured blood, marrow, fat, and
a little muscle. Great fried and on
toastl This is a good tood for you jet-
setters to become accustomed to if
you plan on visiting the African
“Cattle complex” cultures.

2)Pig. The WHOLE thing’s edible,
you know, trom their rough little
tongues to their silky little tails. How
about pickled pigs Ieet, or “rocky
mountain oysters?"

Ihave a great idea, Why not get the
gang together and have an Iowa
ethnic party in your dorm. (Take note
all you social coordinators.) For
guests, only invite girls over 5'8” and
140 lbs. Have everyone wear
dungarees and starched cotton shirts.
Spread a buffet table 01 Iowa delec»
tables and decorate with ears of corn,
basketballs, and pig cut—outs,

You might preface the evening’s
entertainment by havlng a hay ride.
or jump out of a hay mow into a pile
of llulty, fragrant, Iresh»cut Iowa hay,
(I did it at a Bluebird party. My
broken leg incident earned everyone
their red cross badge)

/ While you’re sitting around later
singing “Iowa the Tall Corn State”
you might string com. I love tune-
tional art. (Iowans are utilitanans.)
Stringed corn can serve as rosaries
(ask the pope), Christmas tree decora-
tions, plant hangers, and jewelry,

Better yet, plan to come back to

t v 4"
Iowa early next year to catch me i -
state Fair. Or, go to a cattle congress
Buy quaint Iowa hog postcards at Cun-

ningham s and mail them to all your
friends back home.

I hate to fall into the habit of some
of my fellow colleagues by writing a
column telling people what to do. . ,
Grinnell College studcnw shouldn’t , _
have to be told to use the PEG, get in-
volved (whatever that means), think -
critically (of all things! ), blow their .
nose, or vote in campus elections, But .
in ﬂ'lis instance I must be insistent; as
long as you’re here for four (more or
less) years, you might as well make
the best of it. Don’t be a tourist and - _
don’t shun townies, er...townIolk _ . _
(whatever). Maybe the humbling ex-
perience of living in a rural culture
will make you more willing to admi
you're from Palatine than from ' '
CHICAGO, for instance,

ON THURSDAY
NOVEMBER 15'"

NO IFS:
ANDS

Gm: up CIQaICllCS
rm lust one (lay You
“‘81 Hugh) @va em up
Ir)r goon
IHE GREAT AMERICAN
SMOKEOU'I’,

American Cuncchodety

 

