The

Sunday atternoons through the
autumn can he deroted to only two
pursuits; football watching or football
playing. Already one, hears tlle choriis
rising in the background. adherents or
other sports with all the excuses for
giving their game a higher place iii
my esteem.

They say baseball is a game oi Syms
metrles with the ball an element of
chance and disorder The players
task is. it possible, to keep or return
the game to its symmetrical form.
True But I tire DI the watt necessary
before the ball does its nasty work
Baseball games are bearable only (lui'»
ing the world series or as a spectator
at the park. in the latter instance. the
crowd, liotdogs, and beer distract
froln the boredom palpable oil the
field.

Basketball is a game of constant ac-
tion in which superbly conditioned
athletes perform amazmg and fins
probable teats, They deiy the iorce of
gravity and make vet cal leaps «my
God!) of 36 inches. Truc But games
should have both offense and defense;
basketball does not. The soscalled
“defense” in this sport rarely Consists
oi any eliorts put iorth by the players,
but from the undeniable difficulty of
putting that large ball through that
tiny hole,

Hockey has continuous aetion,
liberal doses of Violence \\ithili the
rules, and they really play detense,
True, But all too often the game
degenerates into a macho mlasma.
Throw down those gloves and light
like a mall!

Soccer, oi course, is the game
popular in decadent Europe along with
the sel‘amblollg countries of the Third
World. No one could allow the Sacred
World Cup to be bothered by the baiu
barous regime that runs Argentina,
the host of the most recent finals, 50c.
cer over politics, human rights, or
anything else that might get in the
way. A World Cup champion side
makes everything all right.

I can list all the things that annoy
me about other sports, but it is dif»
ficult to be its rational about football,
so what iollows are just random
thoughts and anecdotes about the
game,

For a start, allow me to say that
shoulder pads and helmets have never
graced my body. I watch too much
tootball on television 1 play toueii
football with friends Whenever the op»
portunity presents itself. Therefore. i
cannot deelarc myself an expert on
the game, only one who enjoys it both
as a spectator and, Sometimes, paiz
ticip'ant in a mild variation of the real
thing,

For the past six antnmns l have

November 2, l979

Zen of football

always spent set-oral Saturday atieiz
noons watching the Gi'ilinell Pioneers
do battle against teams bigger and
better than themselves They win very
few games, although. Judging by the
number of Students and faculty in m,
tendanee, that is one of the better kept
secrets on campus

Those who skip these games are de-
nying themselves the chance to
witness an excruciating melodrama.
To play deieiisc tor a Grinneli ibotball
team has to be the ultimate defintion
of a broken heart, Not only do they
allow the opponents to score inoi»
dinale numbers of points, but their
fellows on the offense rarely make a
move toward rebuttal.

Earlier this year i saw a Grinnell
detentier make a nice intereeption and
run back of a pass. He and his denfenr
sive comrades were elated on the
sidelines after the play, Needless to
say, they were less happy one play
later when they were lorced to take
the field again after a Griiinell fums
ble, it takes a rare level of grit t0 cons
tinue through an entire season under
such Circumstances.

Here i should confess to a weakness
for the defensive units of football
teams. When i play in a pick-up touch
game I always preier to play on the
defense. I have found few moments
more exhilarating than the intercep-
tion oi a pass iroin a quarterback who
has thrown a touchdown or two
against me, the rush up the field
toward their goal; the blocks thrown
by teammates who only a moment
before were blocked themselves; the
great moment of crossing the goal line
with your opponents looking helplessly
on.

On television, the shark smiles
behind the face masks are almost visi-
bit as the detehsire players wheel up-
field in the same situation

Football players are obieet lessons
in the validity oi body language as a
means of interpreting emotions.
Everyone has seen pain etched across
the body or a iootball player, without a
glimpse of his face. Joy, sorrow, ar»
rogance, and selfsconfldence are all
evident iust irom the posture of the
players on the field All that equip-
ment hides the body, but accentuates
the emotlons,

in fact, a iootliall player is strangely
vulnerable without a small part of his
equipment, the helmet. A classic ex-
ample oi this is a photo of VA. Tittle,
a iamous quarterback ior the New
York Giants in their glory years.

Tittle has been injured in the course
of a game and is upright on his knees
along the sidelines. His helmet is on
the ground next to him. his eyes stare

‘i oil sightlessly into space. From the

tom paltzer

top of his bald head rivuleLs of blood
have come down his face and even in-
to an untasting mouth. With his bald,
helmetless head he resembles nothing
so much as a young bird still in the
nest. and subject to all the nameless
terror of the world.

Another player 1 saw without his
helmet was a Grinnell lineman a few
years ago, He had suffered through a
season with no Wins the year before;
now it was halfway throught the new
season and Grinnell had just won their
first game.

Afterwards, by coincidence, I was
entering the PEG with many of the
team members, This player held his
helmet in one hand and his other arm
wrapped around the shoulder of an ,
assistant coach. He was crying uncona
trollably, a moment for him to
remember for a lifetime.

The best moment I ever had in a
game was during my Navy days. My
command had a terrible team in the
base league, but we showed up for the
games and took our lumps, The game
was flag football, but it attained a
level of violence far too high for men
playing without equipment. The other
commands were after us because we
were the Sissies who worked in In-
telligence, they were the poor scum
who had to do the dirty work.

We played each team twiee during
the season. Midway through the
sehedule we played the contingent oi
Marines from our base for the first
time. We had a small, fearless guy
who played halfback, He ran a play in—
to the center of the line and was knead
in the groin by a Marine linebacker as
they collided at full speed, Our man
somehow made it to the sidelines,
where he collapsed,

The Marine was ejected from the
game to the hoots and laughs of his
teammates. They were surprised our
man made it off the field under his
own power. He was rushed to the
hospital where for the next two weeks
doctors threatened the use of the
knife. He escaped the blade; we lost
the game, .

Our final game was against the
Marines. Needless to‘ say, the sissies
wanted to win. Our halfback was still
tender, but came to watch.

The Marine had been permanently
banned from the field, As the game
began, rain came down in torrents and
continued through the contest, All I
remember during the game is cutting
with the ball in a sea of mud:

somehow standing on my feet; watch-
ing the Marine in iront or me ialiing
on his back into the muck, and
laughing as i went by his prone body
down the field, Not a single cheap Shot

{please turn the p0987)

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