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Surlet and suck photo by rot Conway

Take A Memo:

by Jack Doppelt

I enjoy a good canard as much as
the next guy.

So, when i read the bogus memo
on academic vocabulary ostensibly
written by President Leggett, i could
appreciate its ilner points. ’

It did have its ﬂaws, It was not
composed on the President’s stat-
ionery. The inferior quality- of the
print was a giveaway. The secre-
tary’s intitials were not evident at
the bottom oi the memo. Dr. Legg-
ett has not been known to type his
own memos. And where was that
distinguished signature to which
calligraphers dip their pens?

But most conspicuous to collectors
of Leggett memorabilia were the
ﬂagrant grammatical errors. Glenn
Leggett do not make grammaticalor
syntactical errors The Grinnell
wrestling team does not Win mar
tches, Ernie does not lose letters,
the forum does not serve after
11:30 p.m., and Glenn Leggettdonot
make grammatical errors.

it is unfortunate that the author
slipped up in mechanics becausethe
subject and, tenor were convincing.
One would swear that this memo
and the one on plagiarism come
{mm the Same hand.

lioaxes are so convincing at Grin,
nell because nothing is beyond the
realm oi possibility. The campus
community is susceptible tO'gulliv
bility because the most outlandish
rumors and pranks may very like-
ly be true, Take the iollowing me—
mos: ‘

To: The Campus Community

From: Glenn Leggett

The college, community is very‘
proud of its liberal Outlook on edue
cation. it has been in such a spirit
that the community--its trustees,
administration, faculty, students,
and dogse-has voted consistently
lover the past iew years to open

its admissions policies to neglected
sectors oi the populace.

The college has sent recruiters to
ghetto areas, small ghost towns in
Iowa, local gymnasiums and high
school locker rooms, construction
sites, communes, and convalescent
homes in an effort to attract a di—
verse cross section oi the country,
According to admissions records,
the college has managed success-
iully to counteract the homogen-
eity oi eccentrics toward which
Grinnell was moving a few years
ago.

The college recently received a
letter from the National Association
oi Colleges and Universities iniorme
ing Grinnell College that it has {ore
ieited its accreditation. However,
,this should not affect the learning
process at Grinnell College. After
all, the basic tenet of a liberal arts
education is its adaptability.

 

 

 

 

 

To: The Campus Community

From: Jerry Ramaker; SAGA Teller
Remember the Carson City Sande
wiches which we served ior lunch
yesterday. They were the souiile‘s
made with egg yolk, ground beet,
pineapple gravy, spinach, top soil,
cactus leaves, and max kitchen
cleanser The kitchen cleanser is
not a ‘necessary ingredient, but it
somehow got mixed into the souiile’

Corrections

Several errors appeared in the
September 28 edition oi the Scare
let and Black, ‘

The map oi electoral precincts
provided ior Wednesday’s scllool
bond election was completely the
correct. Ward boundaries are dlie
terent for school elections and munr
icipal elections; a municipal map,
which itself had errors, was print
ed. A correct map will be pubs
lished prior to the Grinnell munir
cipal elections November 6,

A quote attributed to Dean Nicho-
las Ryan in Dave Schechter’s View
from the Sidelines column was ins
accurate. The charge that some
schools in the Midwest Conference
“do not fully abide hy.. regulations
,,.in recruitment and financial aid"
was an impression oi the columnist

1atter hehad snoken to many people;
it was not a direct quote and should

in no way be attributed to Ryan
In the same column, the word

“not” slipped in where it did not
belong. John Piitsch does “put the
many close acquaintances he has
made over the years to work for
him ”

Also on the Sports page, part at
a paragraph concerning the Grin—
nell game against Monmouth was
garbled. The paragraph should have
read:

The game was marked by some
racial incidents on the part oi some
Monmouth players and coaches. Walt
Pearcy appeared to be taking the
ma)ority oi the slurs, and he evenr
tually retaliated by hurling his hel-
met at a Monmouth player, and
striking another who had knocked
his helmet off in'tilc course of a
play. Pearcey was elected from the
game.

And finally, Denise Iverson is not
a member of the Pet Board The
name Onishous Jones Should have
appeared in her place.

According to a nurse at the health
center, the combination of kitchen
cleanser and Spinach killed her
Persian cat within 36 hours, We
suggest that those who ate the Care
son City sandwiches go tothe hospir
tal for tests. We cannot promise
that the cleanser did not spill into
the vegetable casserole, so ii any
one has any adverse reactions in
the next few hours, consider the
possibility oi lood poisoning,

To: Students

From: Scott Well; SGA President
and his Mahogany Cabinet

This is one oi the two letters
we have written. The other letter,
addressed to the faculty and ads
ministration, cites our demand ior
iurther student representation in

Continued on page B

as

THE GRINNELL SCARLET AND BLACK OCTOBER 5, 1973 PAGE5

The Pep Rally

by J. C. Woods

As you probably noted, the campus
in unbelievably dead, yet things are
not as bad as they have been. My
ireshman year this place ireaked
me out totally. i once spent an en-
tire Saturdayhlght on Barber Plaza
watching the library sink,

Things are getting worse. This
semester i spent all oi one Friday
night sitting on the curb in iront
of Central Park watching the towns
ies burn rubber cruising aroundand
around past the Poweshiek County
National Bank It is extremely early
in the year ior such drastic mea
sures. This semester threatens to
hold the record for highesthoredom
level since the last Miss America
Beauty pageant.

A sure indication was the last home
iootball game. i have never beiore
been to a Grinnell football gameand
afterwards been so sure of the
score. It was a rout. Not ‘on the

field. We all knew beforehand that.

their animals are more animalistic
than ours it we were out to win
athletic events, we would put our
girls’ drinking team up against
theirs in matched and indivldaul
chugging contests. ioiiowed by in-
dlan wrestling the Coehawks into
submission.

But we didn’t want that. What we
wanted was to make a coup ior the
Grinnell ideology (Scarlet tor Co-
mmunism, Black ior anarchy) Re—
mind those Coehawks that they are
fighting God‘s chosen people. Do
you realize the opposition cheer-
leaders ieit the stadium unmolestr
edvlll What kind of irigglng school
spirit is thatlll My ireshman year

LLS'AM

by Dee Dee Goldie

“i know that the student body of
Grinnell has always been interested
and involved in causes, Right now
it’s the boycott, a thousand miles
away in California, but Uncle Sam’s
Club is a contribution they could
make locally,” William Roecker,
associate proiessor ot German and
member of the board of directors
oi Uncle Sam’s Club, said in an

This portrait ol noted hmerlcan sculptor-graphic artist Leonard Baskin
is one of the collection of prints being exhibited by Jonathan Silverman
at the East Street Gallery Baskin teaches at Smith College in North
hampton, Mass. and recently sold a number at sculptures to the Vatican.

Contest: Name the Pub

The pub has an early Midwestern
college setting, numbers, beer, enr
tertainment and a variety oi other
activities -- but alas, no name.

There will be a panel oi seven
persons who will judge and select
a name irom those suggested. Sugg»
estlons should be Submitted to Post
otiice Box 1299 along with your

name,

The final decision will be made on
Friday, October lz, 1913. Thepub’s
new name and the winner oithe con-
test will be announced. The winner
will receive two memberships to
the pub. .

The pub currently has approxi-
mately 200 members.

l

we used to rape the Grinnell
cheerleaders first, then turn on
the opposition!!! Nowadays the apps
osltion cheerleaders leave the Star
dium alive!!! Thank God, Shybut
was not here. He would have had a
heart attack!!!

Where was the DB squad?” Where
were theyl? Home with their dil-
does}?! i realize Medvin (the Grape
Society) graduated last year, but
that is no excuse for not showing

IEEillDl
BEANS
THEMES

at all. Don’t those people realize
that they must spread the Grinnell
Theology',7 It is their duty. Now we
get to it. You are the Grinnell
College OB squad. So next Satur-
day, stop typing that stupid paper,
stop doing your accounting, stop
spraying lysol on cigarettes or whatv
ever it is you are doing in that
closet and go to the football game
and be as OEnoiiious, OEscene and
OBsurd as you can. Remember you
are not a true Grinnellian until
you have faced a 4777 score and
looked down on the opposition in
scorn and proclaimed unto the hills
the main tenet of the Grinnell The—
ology:

SO WHAT. YA MOTHERS, WE
GOT HIGHER BOARD SCORES!!!

interview Tuesday.
He said that student volunteers
were needed explaining, “Three or ‘

four years ago the college kids‘
worked hard. Now there's almost

no response.” Roecker attributed
the drop in volunteers to involve-
ment with the Vietnam War and
other social issues a iew years
ago, “The relative calm of Uncle
Sam's Club paled in significance
then. We haven’t recovered our
volunteers since. We’re starting
irom scratch now." ,

Roecker said that in the ast stuA
dents organized Such acti ities as
cratt groups, art projects, and a
Christmas party in Cowies dining
room, he pointed out that there is
a need for this sort of organiza:
tion again. “The children needi
something to do while they are
there. I don't think it will work if
they yust hang out at the club house.
Uncle Sam's Club needs some kind
or direction.” Roecker said.

“This is an opportunity tor the
students to do a little bit of so-
cial work. Although Grinnell does
not have a slum, Uncle Sam’s Club
is located in one or the poorer
parts of town. Many of the kids who
come are a little deprived,”Roeck-
er added, “They really need the
college kids,"

Don Cooper, manager of Uncle
Sam’s Club, also expressed con-
cern over the lack of volunteers.
”We pnly have two people coming
down. i need some help, especially
with the younger kids. They’ve all
been asking whether there will be
college volunteers this year.”
When you’re not around little kids,”
he continued, “you miss a lot. You
don’t have to give them much, just
your interest."

William Roecker concluded by say-
ing that Uncle Sam's Club otters
an opportunity ior iuture teachers
and parents to have first hand ex-
perience with children. “Students
can exercise a broad humanizing
influence of a community-wide na-
ture working at Uncle Sam's Club.
It’s a chance to escape from the
books and work with real people."

The clubhouse is located on the
corner of Third Avenue and Pearl
Street. Anyone interested in be-
coming a volunteer should call Don

Cooﬁer at 235-3975.
llllllll Illlilllllllltlllilllllliilllillltlllitlututtttltttttttttttutum
The iaculty symposium which was

to be held last Tuesday was can~
celled on the spot due to lack oi
interest, The topic of discussion
was to have been the lack of con-
cern (or out nation’s ecological
problems.

 

